New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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