there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
