i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
