is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
