were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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