I smell stomach acid.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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