this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he was CRYING into my vagina
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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