Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
