i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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