Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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