Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize