I smell stomach acid.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize