You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
