Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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