And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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