Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
