Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
