He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
