Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize