I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
