i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize