If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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