By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
