he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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