did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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