just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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