question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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