All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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