okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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