Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
