Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
