Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
