so that wasnt chicken after all
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
