Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's never too late to be topless.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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