I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?