thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?