people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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