i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
