never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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