Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you win again, gameday.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
