i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
