Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
