I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
