I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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