She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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