i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
