my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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