I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
