I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
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I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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