no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
