he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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