We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
