Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i came on her dog
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
