so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
