im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
