Umm I'm too high to move.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
