I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
