why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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