So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
